He perfectly was boyfriend material. He was attractive, considerate and kind. He always insured that I would be comfortable around him, he'd pay during our first dates. He would be interested in what I was doing, I loved the way he dressed and we would even chat after we'd had sex. Well, the perfect boyfriend and yet, I'm the one who pulled out. What happened? The girl in me who hates cuddling with her pillow didn't understand. Ever since the time came for me to want a guy who'd be present, well I didn't want that anymore. My friends thought I was the crazy one. They told me I shut down right at the beginning and it shouldn't come as a surprise that I'm currently watching in my pajamas alone Once Upon a Time (yeah, I know, I'm a bit behind). But you know what? I'm happy being alone. I can do what my heart desires. I don't have to plan around a guy in order to see him as often as possible. I have several projects at the moment, I don't have much time to see my friends and close to none to have a boyfriend. I can plan a trip without his permission. I can choose to live abroad without any problems. I love the fact I don't have to dress to the nines in order to please him. And if I do, it would only be for my own pleasure. 

photo, pyjama, cafe

Source : Picture from my own personal collection

I don't like having that label: we're dating just to see each other to if we can become a couple. That's what I love the least at the beginning of a relationship, it's so unnatural. Would it be awkward? When can I tell him I sing Pokemon's theme song every time I do the dishes? (And that I'm truly proud of knowing all the first 50 pokemons? Because people of our generation remember them, I mean those were the real pokemons). I'm okay with my celibacy, I love the liberty that comes from within. Those moments spent alone are important and they're helping me grow as a young adult. How can I build something with a man when I haven't done that for myself prior to meeting him. I have so many to try, too many projects I wish to carry out, too many adventures I wish to live, I mean I'm still single and yet I feel there are so many things I should do as a single young woman before settling down. So yeah, in truth, I do want to be in a relationship one day, but this day has not yet come to pass. Not now. I won't force myself in settling down with someone because it's the normal thing to do according to our society's standards. I respect this choice and know my limits which in the end, what matters most. 

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