A breakup can be hard. We want some closure and fast. You want to move on with your life and that's normal. You want to feel at your best and empowered. That's our goal, us, the newly single girls. Unfortunately, to get there, it'll take time, perspective and love of oneself. The circumstances of your breakup and the time you were together will considerably play on the time it'll take to get over him. Even at times, friends and family are involved in this breakup. They want to keep in touch with that particular ex… and it can be a serious problem. In other words, if that may be, your ex will always be in the background just waiting for chaos to happen. Your first reaction will probably go as follow:


Before flipping out, I think the most rational thing to do would be to put things in perspective. Obviously at the time being, it'd be easier said than done. However, you need to remember your wounds will eventually scar. Perhaps one day, you and him will be able to be in a same room and be courteous to one another, almost acting friendly. 

That say, if your family and friends are still in touch with him, you need to establish a few points. First and foremost, you need to know that your ex has grown closer to your loved ones during your relationship. It's perfectly normal that he'd want to keep in touch… I mean, in the end, him too is going to a rough patch and needs love and support. You need to stay open-minded and have some sympathy… I know, it'll be hard.


Second of all, I'd recommend you to ask your closed ones to respect your own space. In other words, if they do keep in touch with your ex, the least they could do is to keep that information to themselves and not spill the beans when they're with you. I don't think it'd be of any help if you knew he was happy or met someone… You don't want to know jack-sh*t so might as well don't mention his name during a family gathering.

To ease the process, I've found a few solutions. For night outs with your friends, it's obviously out of the question that your ex will be there. If unfortunately you both have friends in common, coordinate your night outs so that you don't have to bump into him. I'm saving you from possible awkward situations. The other option is to share one's event. One can go to a social gathering from 6pm to 9pm while the other comes at 9pm. In the end, you can go with how important that friend is to you so you can monopolize the night and your ex instantly have to back off. It'd go for your best friend's birthday even tho your ex is good friends with her… that's off limits and you'll have full priority. I mean, even if it's hard, I strongly recommend you to respect the decision of your family and friends of keeping in touch with your ex. They don't have to break up with him either because you two have. On that note, I hope this article will be of use if ever you need some tips. 


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Marie-Philip Mercier

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