You know your life has become pretty darn relaxed when the first thought that pops into your mind while washing the dishes, is: “Wow! I really like these new sponges!”

Well, you know what they say about enjoying life’s simple pleasures.

I’ve Become Boring

As I near the ripe old age of 24, I take a great deal of pleasure in preparing my lunches for the week and I take pride in remembering to pick up everything on my grocery list.

My cell phone wallpaper is “16 habits to feel happy” and the worst thing that’s happened to me in the past three months is having to replace my washing machine.

I keep a Magic Bag at school to relieve back aches and a pair of slippers so that I’m not stuck wearing wet socks all day. Just in case you’re wondering, the answer is NO, a girl in slippers with a Magic Bag that stinks of buckwheat is not sexy.

I often skip after-school beer with classmates in favour of getting home to my roommate and watching a little TV as I tag him on vids of cute dogs in the hope that he’ll agree to buying one.

I’ve Become Boring

I get up early in the morning to do a few stretches while listening to relaxing music; I call that “yoga”. I spend more money on candles than on beer; half of which, by the way, I’ll never actually light because they’re decorative.

chandelle détente relaxer relaxation Source: Unsplash

The biggest orgasm I’ve had in three months happened when I arrived home and saw that the dishes had been done. THAT definitely touched my sweet spot!

I don’t have enough money to travel because my food supplements cost $200 a month, but at least my digestive system is FANTASTIC!

If I don’t drink my customary three liters of water a day, I end up with urinary problems, and if I don’t get my eight hours of sleep a night, I become less than patient.

I’ve become boring

But you know what? I’ve never been happier and I dare say it will stay that way even if my Magic Bag stinks and my breath smells of Vitamin C. Being boring is fun!

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Joanie Henry

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