August 27th, 2016

When Everything Turns Into a Bloody Blood Bath Down Under

Being a guy, I don't have the fortunate chance of dealing with periods (lol): and being gay, I don't have to deal with a girlfriend who's on that time of the month whenever I come home from work. But I do ask myself questions about this feminine mystery and what goes down when the 3rd World War declares itself in your crotch. I then asked several of my lady friends to know what pisses you off the most during your periods and the majority have confirmed those following 20 points:

Keep your legs crossed or tights close to one another whenever you have to sneeze.
No sex.
Having the desire of taking 3 showers a day. #DirtyGirl
Having the feeling that your insides and your uterus are being crushed and put in a blender "Destroy That Shit".
Can't deal with the outside world.
Using toilet paper as an emergency instead of a huge pad from your mother-in-law's while you're visiting.
When your boyfriend asks you: Are you this annoying because you're having your period?

Source : Instagram

Just start eating like a pregnant woman.
When you're considering doing anal.
When you think murdering someone would totally be legal whenever you have your period.
Part ways with one of your panties, from time to time.
White pants shall be avoided at all cost.
When you feel it coming in a meeting, on the bus, while waiting in line at Starbucks or even in a rollercoaster at La Ronde and you're obviously not ready.
You feel your ovaries exploding at least 58 times a day.

Source : Giphy

When you feel bloated and obviously have no jeans that fit.
You laugh, scream, cry and then laugh again… in a span of 43 seconds.
When you come across a dog and obviously goes straight to sniff your crotch and gives your that "Oh well, look who's on her period" look. #TrueStory
Being at the drug store with your mom in the tampon aisle and hearing her shout "DO YOU NEED PADS OR TAMPONS?" Thanks mom.
There isn't much difference between your face and the pizza you ordered last Saturday.
From what you learnt from your sex ed class back in high school, you're not pregnant. Well at least, there's that.

Source : Giphy

I'm already seeing those 2-3 comments saying "are you kidding me, these are so cliché and the guy clearly doesn't know what he's talking about" or even "Well I'm on the pill and I don't have tummy ache. This article is so inaccurate". Alright girls, fine. For real, I can't even imagine what you girls must go through when your vajayjay bleeds 25% on a yearly scale, and to be honest, I sympathize with you.