A lot of people have been in one or more toxic relationships. Having been in one myself, I know how hard they can be. We don’t know how to get out of them. We stay for the sake of love, putting our needs aside, sacrificing our own happiness for that of our partner. We give everything we have, only to end up with so little to show for it.

Real Love isn’t supposed to be like that. It’s about accepting another person, warts and all. It’s about making compromises. It’s about weathering the storm together, taking care of each other, and loving each other day in and day out. It’s about knowing the very soul of a person. It’s about keeping the flames of love alive.

relations, relations toxiques, tristeSource: Unsplash

Unfortunately, it’s difficult to stay level-headed in a toxic relationship. Our emotions get the better of us and can ruin our life in the process. Rebuilding our self-esteem can be a long and painful process when we’ve tolerated abusive behaviour day after day.

Little by little, we let ourselves be manipulated. We put aside our friends, sometimes even our family, in the hope of saving the relationship. A person who has issues related to jealousy will likely never change unless he/she willingly chooses to work on self-improvement. A person’s true character will always reassert itself at some point. Therefore, either we accept our partner’s behaviour at the expense of our own wellbeing, or we pull our head out of the sand and end the relationship. I’d be hard pressed to describe the state we’re in at that point.

relations, relations toxiques

Learning who you truly are, on your own, is uplifting. Take advantage of this time to learn to love yourself and to rebuild your confidence. The day will come when you believe it possible to find a healthy and loving relationship. Just be EXTREMELY careful not to fall back on old habits. It’s important to choose wisely and to take the time to really get to know a person rather than allow ourselves to get caught up in the honeymoon phase of a relationship. There’s no rush. Let destiny play its part in finding the man/woman of your dreams. You deserve it. If the relationship you dream of is aligned with the person you truly are, in time love will come your way.

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Cynthia Brouillette

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