I was at a bar not long ago and I was watching a guy while he was looking at me. I continued dancing with my friends until he came up to me, and then I danced with him.
The evening went on and the drinking did too. We talked about everything and nothing; it’s all kinda jumbled in my head. We all know that when two people hook up in a bar, sometimes it doesn’t go anywhere, and sometimes it does.
We ended up at my place, just a few blocks away. Clothing was shed. Alcohol was consumed. Foreplay was hot and heavy. I asked him if he had a condom. He gave me a look that said “are you serious?” Well, I was.
I rushed to the bathroom in search of a rubber when he came up to me and said to forget about it cuz we didn’t need it.
“Don’t worry” he said. “I’m obviously safe.”
I’ve heard that line before and it sets my teeth on edge, cuz…no…just…no.
“Well, it’s not obvious to me.” I replied.
I mean, a lot of STDs are virtually invisible and some are even asymptomatic. You might not even know that you’re infected if you never protect yourself.
It doesn’t matter how sexy you are, or how commendable your personal hygiene is, or if you’re a great guy.
I don’t know if you’re safe. Your sexual health has nothing to do with your vibes or your body image. How am I supposed to know if everyone you’ve slept with was safe? If someone was infected and you had unprotected sex with them, you might pass whatever they had onto me. Your track record isn’t exactly reassuring.
There’s just so much taboo, you know? Despite the general population’s level of awareness, more and more people are getting infected with an STD. It’s difficult to think of a perfectly healthy looking person in terms of being a potential carrier of an STD. You don’t know what crap someone might pass onto you. Nowadays, people seem to think that everything can be cured with a pill or two but it simply isn’t true.
Herpes is incurable. HPV is a direct cause of uterine cancer. AIDS is deadly.
Those diseases are definitely serious but let’s not forget about the “less serious” diseases such as chlamydia, syphilis, and gonorrhea. People are being infected left and right; it’s become a veritable epidemic, and yet there are those who continue to say “Don’t worry, I’m obviously safe.
Taking care of one’s physical health is highly regarded, as is mental health. But when I want to take care of my sexual health and I ask my partner to wear a condom, I’m sometimes told “Don’t worry, I’m obviously safe” but how would I know?
I didn’t place as much importance on protecting myself when I was younger because it wasn’t “cool”, it wasn’t “sexy”, and it “spoiled the mood”. Any excuse to avoid using a condom was good enough for me. I know so many intelligent people who, even today, refuse to use a condom.
Excuse me but we’re not having sex tonight if you won’t wear a condom.
And I couldn’t care less how safe you look.
Summer Spring Cleaning Challenge: Follow Up