We all have our own definition of what constitutes a couple, a complete sexual relationship, virginity and fidelity. The definition of fidelity varies widely from one individual to another based upon perception, making it very difficult to accurately define the term. For some people, infidelity begins the moment a person develops feelings for someone other than their partner; feelings that might jeopardize their relationship as a couple. If a person makes it a habit to text someone goodnight, their partner might become jealous because they feel excluded. For others, these feelings are acceptable as long as sex isn’t part of the equation. Thus, some people define fidelity in terms of emotions, while others define fidelity in terms of sexual involvement.
For now, it’s not too complicated. But…
Several teenagers were interviewed as part of a study led in the United States. For these teens, fellatio does not constitute a sexual relationship. Thus, giving or receiving oral sex is not equated to infidelity… hmm, not so simple.
Given this line of thinking, two types of fidelity exist (emotional and sexual), and certain behaviours are either included or excluded depending upon each person’s perception of fidelity.
This is where it gets a little complicated.
Imagine yourself in a relationship, as a couple, wherein the definition of fidelity has not been clearly defined. Such is the case for many couples. We assume that our partner thinks the same way we do and act accordingly. In this case, fidelity seems to be a matter of COMMON SENSE; however, we don’t all share in that same common sense… In an age when adults and young adults identify their relationships as “dates”, how can you be sure that any form of fidelity is respected? Is it something you would discuss or would you avoid it for fear that you might be seen as “rushing things”? When does fidelity begin? Perhaps when you stop using condoms? Do you consider him faithful as long as he uses condoms with other people?
Source : Pixabay
LOTS OF QUESTIONS
Coping with an infidelity is challenging in and of itself. The repercussions can affect future relationships of the person who has been deceived. Healing is achieved through a long process of self-exploration. It’s best to discuss and define fidelity at the beginning of a new relationship. Even polyamorous couples sometimes have a fairly accurate definition of infidelity.
I’m not saying that betrayals can be avoided by merely broaching the topic of infidelity. A betrayal can occur despite your best efforts to avoid it. The resulting pain is equally great with women as it is with men. Once betrayed, it can take a long time before you can place your trust in someone; be it the person who betrayed you or someone new. Bouts of jealousy can occur if a person hasn’t healed 100%.
Infidelity is often a symptom experienced by a couple who were already dealing with other difficulties. A sexologist can help restore a couple’s equilibrium. A consultation might be necessary if the person who has been betrayed experiences bouts of jealousy that put their relationship at risk. The person who tends to be unfaithful in many of his relationships may also benefit from therapy to better understand what drives him to “look elsewhere”.
For questions related to fidelity or other topics, please do not hesitate to contact me at: [email protected]
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To My Pisces Sisters