That’s right, I don’t wish happiness for my ex and I don’t feel bad about it. I don’t wish him all the best in his new relationship. I don’t wish him an increase in pay. I don’t wish him the relocation he wants. I just don’t want his life to be amazing.
Some people, at the end of a relationship, wish only the best for their former spouse (I’ve never figured out if they’re being sincere or if they’re just mouthing the words for the sake of appearances). Perhaps it’s the ideal perspective. It’s surely the healthiest. However, that’s not the case for me.
You probably think I’m crazy and I can see why you would. Perhaps I’m coming across as being filled with hatred. But it’s really not as bad as that. What I wish for him is the ability to grow with every stage of his life, one after the other, rather than having everything served to him on a silver platter. That he learns, on his own, to manage the highs and lows that we all experience in our daily lives. That he finds the necessary tools to overcome the pitfalls that might occur in his life.
I said that I don’t wish him happiness but I don’t wish him misfortune either. Actually, to be perfectly honest, I do wish him a little misfortune simply because setbacks help us become better people. Setbacks can lead to self-examination.
So there you have it! As for the rest, none of it makes much difference to me. I don’t want to hear from him; it’s simply better that way. I only hope he grows up. I hope he comes to appreciate the people in his life. I hope he comes to realize that he’s had his family’s support since Day One and that he should thank them for it. I hope he broadens his horizons rather than continue to fear change.
In the end, what I don’t wish him is undeserved happiness. Instead, I hope he embarks upon the road to happiness and that he makes it on his own.
Discovering My Own City