That’s right…

  1. Do. Not. Like. Camping.

There, I said it.

Surely I’m not the only one who feels that way? The problem is, openly admitting you don’t like camping is akin to saying you don’t like hockey…it’s almost a sacrilege in Québec.

Don’t get me wrong, I love spending time outdoors. I love delving into a wide range of activities. I love Summer, beautiful weather, and being active. But I don’t like camping.

sepaq, camping

Image source: Sepaq

And yet, I went camping all the time with my parents when I was a child. They really enjoyed it, my brother too, or at least I think so. The only things I enjoyed were the outdoor activities. I liked kayaking, hiking, water slides, and visits to the ice-cream stand. My father probably wouldn’t be overly thrilled to learn how little I like camping.

I don’t like sleeping in a damp tent on a mattress that goes flat in the middle of the night. I don’t like getting eaten alive by mosquitoes. I don’t like hearing our neighbor’s scratchy guitar playing while accompanied by drunken pals singing Éric Lapointe tunes at the top of their lungs until two in the morning. I don’t like the idea of showering in a stall with slimy flooring or having to drag a roll of toilet paper with me to go to the toilet. I don’t like eating hotdogs for a week and doing the dishes with cold water.

Added to all that is the sheer amount of organization required in order to even go camping. “Honey, did you waterproof the tent, put the poles in the bag, and take out the cooler? And don’t forget about the tarpaulin, the ropes, the matches and the marshmallow skewers.”

I’m pretty sure I didn’t inherit the love-of-camping gene. As a matter of fact, every time I managed to convince myself to give camping another try, I lived to regret it. I simply can’t get home fast enough. As far as I’m concerned, spending two nights a year in a tent earns me a Bachelor’s Degree in camping…thank you very much.

Vacationing in a cottage is the way to go. After all, a cottage offers all of the creature comforts of home and nature is just a step away. Besides that, you don’t need to worry about the neighbors overhearing the sounds of your love-making.

Please tell me I’m not the only human being who has yet to figure out what’s so gosh darn great about camping!

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Marie-Ève Lévesque

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