I recently had a quarrel with a friend… again. She’s the only friend I quarrel with. I’ve never had a problem with any of my other friends. Never. I admit that I have a strong personality but if there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s quarrelling! I avoid it at all costs. I don’t go looking for trouble. In fact, I feel extremely ill at ease until the situation has been sorted out. I don’t like knowing that someone is angry with me, and vice versa. I wish I didn’t care but I do. I get so anxious about it that I make myself sick. (Yes, I’m a very anxious person and I know it.) That ought to give you a pretty good idea of how much I can’t stand quarrelling. Anyhow, there’s this one friend that I keep butting heads with…like, all the time! I know what you’re thinking: “Just stop talking to her, period!” Right. But it’s not that simple.

Fille seuleSource : Pixabay

The thing is, her friends are my friends too, you know? It’s not easy to ignore someone when you’re sitting at the same dinner table. Added to that, there’s another problem. She’s known for having two distinct personalities. One minute, she’s your best friend, full of life, and generous. The next minute, she’s utterly unrecognizable. She becomes distant, egotistical, and the worst bitch on the face of the planet. I really liked her in the beginning! We really got along. But I’m fed up with her always calling the shots and being a strictly sunny day friend. Friendship, for me, is a two way street and it’s not something you “do” part time. You can’t just punch in and punch out at your convenience. Nooo! I spent so much time and energy trying to help her and getting her to talk when she was going through one of her episodes but I just can’t do it anymore. It’s gotten so bad that I have to weigh my every word for fear that something I say might trigger one of her fits. Is that really friendship? Is it normal to stress out over asking her to give you the money she OWES you because the last time you asked, she pouted for 2 weeks? Is it normal to have to tell your friends your side of the story because she fed them some bullshit line behind your back? Is it normal to cancel a night out with your friends because she decided to join us at the last minute? Is THAT friendship? If so, I want nothing to do with it.

friends amisSource : Pixabay

This article is admittedly not upbeat but that’s not to say that everything in my life is a downer. I consider myself fortunate to have an exceptional friend that I can always count on and who I know will always always be there for me no matter what happens. It might seem cliché but that doesn’t take away from the truth. We’ve been friends for nearly 14 years. Thank gawd for her. All that to say that I’ve recently made peace with the situation. I’ve made a promise to myself that I would never again invest time or energy in someone who is unworthy of it. Now, it’s easier for me to make a decision based upon the answer to this one question: would so-and-so do the same for me? If the answer is no, then forget it. I’m not going to waste my time. I’m done with putting other people’s well being before my own. What matters to me now is the quality of my friendships, not the quantity.

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